85. About the Words of Allah, Most Majestic, Most Glorious, ‘You must not Make Secret Dates . . .

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1- عَلِيُّ بْنُ إِبْرَاهِيمَ عَنْ أَبِيهِ عَنِ ابْنِ أَبِي عُمَيْرٍ عَنْ حَمَّادٍ عَنِ الْحَلَبِيِّ عَنْ أَبِي عَبْدِ اللهِ (عَلَيْهِ السَّلام) قَالَ سَأَلْتُهُ عَنْ قَوْلِ اللهِ عَزَّ وَجَلَّ وَلكِنْ لا تُواعِدُوهُنَّ سِرًّا إِلا أَنْ تَقُولُوا قَوْلا مَعْرُوفاً قَالَ هُوَ الرَّجُلُ يَقُولُ لِلْمَرْأَةِ قَبْلَ أَنْ تَنْقَضِيَ عِدَّتُهَا أُوَاعِدُكِ بَيْتَ آلِ فُلانٍ لِيُعَرِّضَ لَهَا بِالْخِطْبَةِ وَيَعْنِي بِقَوْلِهِ إِلا أَنْ تَقُولُوا قَوْلا مَعْرُوفاً التَّعْرِيضَ بِالْخِطْبَةِ وَلا تَعْزِمُوا عُقْدَةَ النِّكاحِ حَتَّى يَبْلُغَ الْكِتابُ أَجَلَهُ.


1. Ali ibn Ibrahim has narrated from his father from ibn abu ‘Umayr from Hammad from al-Halabiy who has said the following: “This is concerning my question before abu ‘ Abd Allah, ‘Alayhi al-Salam, about the meaning of the words of Allah, "... but you must not secretly date (make secret appointment with) such women (during their waiting period) unless you speak to them in a lawful manner.’ (2:235) He (the Imam) said, ’He is a man who speaks to the woman before she completes her waiting period saying, “I invite you for a date in the house of so and so” and to propose marriage to her and His word, “Unless you speak to them in a lawful way” is a reference to “proposing marriage”, “. . . but you must not decide for marriage until the appointed waiting period is complete...” (2:235)’”


Grading:

Allamah Baqir al-Majlisi: حسن - Mir‘at al ‘Uqul Fi Sharh Akhbar Al al Rasul (20/198)



2- عِدَّةٌ مِنْ أَصْحَابِنَا عَنْ سَهْلِ بْنِ زِيَادٍ وَمُحَمَّدُ بْنُ يَحْيَى عَنْ أَحْمَدَ بْنِ مُحَمَّدِ بْنِ عِيسَى عَنْ أَحْمَدَ بْنِ مُحَمَّدِ بْنِ أَبِي نَصْرٍ عَنْ عَبْدِ اللهِ بْنِ سِنَانٍ قَالَ سَأَلْتُ أَبَا عَبْدِ اللهِ (عَلَيْهِ السَّلام) عَنْ قَوْلِ اللهِ عَزَّ وَجَلَّ وَلكِنْ لا تُواعِدُوهُنَّ سِرًّا إِلا أَنْ تَقُولُوا قَوْلا مَعْرُوفاً وَلا تَعْزِمُوا عُقْدَةَ النِّكاحِ حَتَّى يَبْلُغَ الْكِتابُ أَجَلَهُ فَقَالَ السِّرُّ أَنْ يَقُولَ الرَّجُلُ مَوْعِدُكِ بَيْتُ آلِ فُلانٍ ثُمَّ يَطْلُبُ إِلَيْهَا أَنْ لا تَسْبِقَهُ بِنَفْسِهَا إِذَا انْقَضَتْ عِدَّتُهَا قُلْتُ فَقَوْلُهُ إِلا أَنْ تَقُولُوا قَوْلا مَعْرُوفاً هُوَ طَلَبُ الْحَلالِ فِي غَيْرِ أَنْ يَعْزِمَ عُقْدَةَ النِّكَاحِ حَتَّى يَبْلُغَ الْكِتَابُ أَجَلَهُ.


2. A number of our people have narrated from Sahl ibn Ziyad and Muhammad ibn Yahya has narrated from Ahmad ibn Muhammad ibn ‘Isa from Ahmad ibn Muhammad from ibn abu Nasr from ‘Abd Allah ibn Sinan who has said the following: “This is concerning my question before abu ‘Abd Allah, ‘Alayhi al-Salam, about the words of Allah, most Majestic, most Glorious, ‘. . . but you must not secretly date such women (during their waiting period) unless you speak to them in a lawful manner and you must not decide to form terms of marriage until the appointed time is complete.’ (2:235). He (the Imam) said, ‘The word “secret” means his saying, “The place of your date is the house of so and so”, then calls her to that place then asks her not to decide to get married with someone else before him when waiting period is complete.’ I then asked about, ‘Except if you speak in a lawful manner.’ He (the Imam) said, ‘It is seeking lawful matters without determination for marriage until the appointed time of waiting period is complete.’”


Grading:

Allamah Baqir al-Majlisi: صحيح 2 - Mir‘at al ‘Uqul Fi Sharh Akhbar Al al Rasul (0/198)



3- مُحَمَّدُ بْنُ يَحْيَى عَنْ أَحْمَدَ بْنِ مُحَمَّدٍ عَنْ عَلِيِّ بْنِ الْحَكَمِ عَنْ عَلِيِّ بْنِ أَبِي حَمْزَةَ قَالَ سَأَلْتُ أَبَا الْحَسَنِ (عَلَيْهِ السَّلام) عَنْ قَوْلِ اللهِ عَزَّ وَجَلَّ وَلكِنْ لا تُواعِدُوهُنَّ سِرًّا قَالَ يَقُولُ الرَّجُلُ أُوَاعِدُكِ بَيْتَ آلِ فُلانٍ يُعَرِّضُ لَهَا بِالرَّفَثِ وَيَرْفُثُ يَقُولُ اللهُ عَزَّ وَجَلَّ إِلا أَنْ تَقُولُوا قَوْلا مَعْرُوفاً وَالْقَوْلُ الْمَعْرُوفُ التَّعْرِيضُ بِالْخِطْبَةِ عَلَى وَجْهِهَا وَحِلِّهَا وَلا تَعْزِمُوا عُقْدَةَ النِّكاحِ حَتَّى يَبْلُغَ الْكِتابُ أَجَلَهُ.


3. Muhammad ibn Yahya has narrated from Ahmad ibn Muhammad from Ali ibn al-Hakam from Ali ibn abu Hamzah who has said the following: “I once asked abu al-Hassan, ‘Alayhi al-Salam, about the words of Allah, most Majestic, most Glorious, ‘. . . but you must not secretly date such women (during their waiting period).’ (2:235). He (the Imam) said, ‘It is his saying, “The place for your date (with me) is the house of the family of so and so where he asks her for rafath (sexual intercourse) and performs it, and Allah, most Majestic, most Glorious, says, “Unless you speak in a lawful manner.” Speaking in a lawful manner is proposing for marriage the way it should be in a lawful manner which is, “You must not decide forming the terms of marriage until the appointed time of waiting period is complete.’””


Grading:

Allamah Baqir al-Majlisi: ضعيف على المشهور - Mir‘at al ‘Uqul Fi Sharh Akhbar Al al Rasul (20/199)



4- حُمَيْدُ بْنِ زِيَادٍ عَنِ الْحَسَنِ بْنِ مُحَمَّدٍ عَنْ غَيْرِ وَاحِدٍ عَنْ أَبَانٍ عَنْ عَبْدِ الرَّحْمَنِ بْنِ أَبِي عَبْدِ اللهِ عَنْ أَبِي عَبْدِ اللهِ (عَلَيْهِ السَّلام) فِي قَوْلِ اللهِ عَزَّ وَجَلَّ إِلا أَنْ تَقُولُوا قَوْلا مَعْرُوفاً قَالَ يَلْقَاهَا فَيَقُولُ إِنِّي فِيكِ لَرَاغِبٌ وَإِنِّي لِلنِّسَاءِ لَمُكْرِمٌ فَلا تَسْبِقِينِي بِنَفْسِكِ وَالسِّرُّ لا يَخْلُو مَعَهَا حَيْثُ وَعَدَهَا.


4. Humayd ibn Ziyad from al-Hassan ibn Muhammad from more than one person from Aban from ‘Abd al-Rahman ibn abu ‘Abd Allah who has said the following: “About the words of Allah, most Majestic, most Glorious, ‘. . . unless you speak in a lawful manner;’ (2:235) he (the Imam) said, ‘He meets her and says, “I am interested in you, I respect women, so you must not decide about yourself (to marry someone else) before me.” In “secret” dating he does not meet her as he had promised.’”


Grading:

Allamah Baqir al-Majlisi: كالموثق 2 - Mir‘at al ‘Uqul Fi Sharh Akhbar Al al Rasul (0/199)