قَالَ أَمِيرُ اَلْمُؤْمِنِينَ عَلَيْهِ اَلسَّلاَمُ: "تَزَوَّجْ سَمْرَاءَ عَيْنَاءَ عَجْزَاءَ مَرْبُوعَةً فَإِنْ كَرِهْتَهَا فَعَلَيَّ اَلصَّدَاقُ".
Commander of the Faithful (a.s) said: "Marry a woman who is dark-skinned, wide-eyed, full-figured, and of medium height. If you dislike her, then I will bear the dowry."
وَ كَانَ رَسُولُ اَللَّهِ صَلَّى اَللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَ آلِهِ إِذَا أَرَادَ أَنْ يَتَزَوَّجَ اِمْرَأَةً بَعَثَ إِلَيْهَا مَنْ يَنْظُرُ إِلَيْهَا وَ قَالَ "شَمِّي لِيتَهَا فَإِنْ طَابَ لِيتُهَا طَابَ عَرْفُهَا وَ إِنْ دَرِمَ كَعْبُهَا عَظُمَ كَعْثَبُهَا".
The Messenger of Allah (swt) (peace be upon him and his family), when intending to marry a woman, would send someone to look at her and said: "Smell her neck, for if her neck smells good, her scent will also be pleasant. And if her ankles are fleshy, her private parts will be well-developed."
قَالَ مُصَنِّفُ هَذَا الْكِتَابِ رَحِمَهُ اللَّهُ اللِّيتُ صَفْحَةُ الْعُنُقِ وَ الْعَرْفُ الرِّيحُ الطَّيِّبَةُ قَالَ اللَّهُ عَزَّ وَ جَلَّ وَ يُدْخِلُهُمُ الْجَنَّةَ عَرَّفَها لَهُمْ أَيْ طَيَّبَهَا لَهُمْ وَ قَدْ قِيلَ إِنَّ الْعَرْفَ الْعُودُ الطِّيبُ الرِّيحِ وَ قَوْلُهُ ع دَرِمَ كَعْبُهَا أَيْ كَثُرَ لَحْمُ كَعْبِهَا وَ يُقَالُ امْرَأَةٌ دَرْمَاءُ إِذَا كَانَتْ كَثِيرَةَ لَحْمِ الْقَدَمِ وَ الْكَعْبِ وَ الْكَعْثَبُ الْفَرْجُ.
The compiler of this book, may Allah (swt) have mercy on him, explained that 'al-leet' refers to the side of the neck, and 'al-araf' means a pleasant fragrance, as mentioned in the verse: 'And He will admit them into Paradise, which He has made known to them' (Surah Muhammad 47:6), meaning He (swt) has made it fragrant for them. It is also said that 'al-araf' refers to fragrant incense. The phrase 'darima ka'buha' means that her ankles are fleshy, and a woman described as 'darmaa' has well-fleshed feet and ankles. The term 'ka'thab' refers to the private parts.
وَ قَالَ عَلَيْهِ اَلسَّلاَمُ: "إِذَا أَرَادَ أَحَدُكُمْ أَنْ يَتَزَوَّجَ فَلْيَسْأَلْ عَنْ شَعْرِهَا كَمَا يَسْأَلُ عَنْ وَجْهِهَا فَإِنَّ اَلشَّعْرَ أَحَدُ اَلْجَمَالَيْنِ".
Imam (a.s) said: "If any of you intends to marry, let him inquire about her hair just as he inquires about her face, for hair is one of the two aspects of beauty."
وَ قَالَ عَلَيْهِ اَلسَّلاَمُ: "خَيْرُ نِسَائِكُمُ اَلطَّيِّبَةُ اَلرِّيحِ اَلطَّيِّبَةُ اَلطَّعَامِ، اَلَّتِي إِنْ أَنْفَقَتْ أَنْفَقَتْ بِمَعْرُوفٍ وَ إِنْ أَمْسَكَتْ أَمْسَكَتْ بِمَعْرُوفٍ فَتِلْكَ مِنْ عُمَّالِ اَللَّهِ وَ عَامِلُ اَللَّهِ لاَ يَخِيبُ".
Imam (a.s) said: "The best of your women is the one who has a pleasant fragrance and prepares good food, who spends appropriately if she spends, and who withholds appropriately if she withholds. Such a woman is among the workers of Allah (swt), and the worker of Allah (swt) will never fail."
وَ رَوَى جَمِيلُ بْنُ دَرَّاجٍ عَنْ أَبِي عَبْدِ اَللَّهِ عَلَيْهِ اَلسَّلاَمُ قَالَ: "خَيْرُ نِسَائِكُمُ اَلَّتِي إِنْ غَضِبَتْ أَوْ أَغْضَبَتْ قَالَتْ لِزَوْجِهَا يَدِي فِي يَدِكَ لاَ أَكْتَحِلُ بِغُمْضٍ حَتَّى تَرْضَى عَنِّي".
Jamil ibn Darraj narrated from Abu Abdillah (a.s) who said: "The best of your women is the one who, if she becomes angry or causes her husband to become angry, says to him, 'My hand is in your hand, and I will not rest until you are pleased with me.'"
وَ رَوَى عَلِيُّ بْنُ رِئَابٍ عَنْ أَبِي حَمْزَةَ اَلثُّمَالِيِّ عَنْ جَابِرِ بْنِ عَبْدِ اَللَّهِ اَلْأَنْصَارِيِّ قَالَ: كُنَّا جُلُوساً مَعَ رَسُولِ اَللَّهِ صَلَّى اَللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَ آلِهِ قَالَ فَتَذَاكَرْنَا اَلنِّسَاءَ وَ فَضْلَ بَعْضِهِنَّ عَلَى بَعْضٍ فَقَالَ رَسُولُ اَللَّهِ صَلَّى اَللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَ آلِهِ "أَ لاَ أُخْبِرُكُمْ بِخَيْرِ نِسَائِكُمْ" قَالُوا بَلَى يَا رَسُولَ اَللَّهِ فَأَخْبِرْنَا قَالَ "إِنَّ مِنْ خَيْرِ نِسَائِكُمُ اَلْوَلُودَ اَلْوَدُودَ اَلسَّتِيرَةَ اَلْعَفِيفَةَ اَلْعَزِيزَةَ فِي أَهْلِهَا اَلذَّلِيلَةَ مَعَ بَعْلِهَا اَلْمُتَبَرِّجَةَ مَعَ زَوْجِهَا اَلْحَصَانَ مَعَ غَيْرِهِ اَلَّتِي تَسْمَعُ قَوْلَهُ وَ تُطِيعُ أَمْرَهُ وَ إِذَا خَلاَ بِهَا بَذَلَتْ لَهُ مَا أَرَادَ مِنْهَا وَ لَمْ تَبَذَّلْ لَهُ تَبَذُّلَ اَلرَّجُلِ ".
Ali ibn Ri'ab narrated from Abu Hamzah al-Thumali, from Jabir ibn Abdullah al-Ansari, who said: We were sitting with the Messenger of Allah (swt) (peace be upon him and his family) when we began discussing women and the virtues of some over others. The Messenger of Allah (swt) (peace be upon him and his family) said: "Shall I not inform you of the best of your women?" They said: "Yes, O Messenger of Allah (swt), tell us." He (saws) said: "The best of your women is the one who is loving and fertile, modest and chaste, honorable among her family, humble with her husband, displaying her beauty to her husband while guarding herself from others. She listens to his words, obeys his commands, and when he is alone with her, she offers him what he desires, without imitating the mannerisms of men."
وَ قَالَ رَسُولُ اَللَّهِ صَلَّى اَللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَ آلِهِ: "مَا اِسْتَفَادَ اِمْرُؤٌ مُسْلِمٌ فَائِدَةً بَعْدَ اَلْإِسْلاَمِ أَفْضَلَ مِنْ زَوْجَةٍ مُسْلِمَةٍ تَسُرُّهُ إِذَا نَظَرَ إِلَيْهَا وَ تُطِيعُهُ إِذَا أَمَرَهَا وَ تَحْفَظُهُ إِذَا غَابَ عَنْهَا فِي نَفْسِهَا وَ مَالِهِ".
The Messenger of Allah (swt) (peace be upon him and his family) said: "A Muslim man does not gain a better benefit after Islam than a Muslim wife who pleases him when he looks at her, obeys him when he commands her, and safeguards herself and his wealth in his absence."
وَ جَاءَ رَجُلٌ إِلَى رَسُولِ اَللَّهِ صَلَّى اَللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَ آلِهِ فَقَالَ إِنَّ لِي زَوْجَةً إِذَا دَخَلْتُ تَلَقَّتْنِي وَ إِذَا خَرَجْتُ شَيَّعَتْنِي وَ إِذَا رَأَتْنِي مَهْمُوماً قَالَتْ مَا يُهِمُّكَ إِنْ كُنْتَ تَهْتَمُّ لِرِزْقِكَ فَقَدْ تَكَفَّلَ لَكَ بِهِ غَيْرُكَ وَ إِنْ كُنْتَ تَهْتَمُّ بِأَمْرِ آخِرَتِكَ فَزَادَكَ اَللَّهُ هَمّاً فَقَالَ رَسُولُ اَللَّهِ صَلَّى اَللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَ آلِهِ "إِنَّ لِلَّهِ عُمَّالاً وَ هَذِهِ مِنْ عُمَّالِهِ لَهَا نِصْفُ أَجْرِ اَلشَّهِيدِ".
A man came to the Messenger of Allah (swt) (peace be upon him and his family) and said: "I have a wife who, when I enter the house, welcomes me, and when I leave, bids me farewell. If she sees me worried, she says, 'What is troubling you? If you are concerned about your sustenance, know that someone else has taken responsibility for it. And if you are concerned about your afterlife, then may Allah (swt) increase your concern.'" The Messenger of Allah (swt) (peace be upon him and his family) said: "Indeed, Allah (swt) has workers, and she is one of His (swt) workers. She will have half the reward of a martyr."
